Sagar Alias Jacky- NOT reloaded

Note: Contains Spoilers. This is not a movie review. Just my take on it.
After seeing the movie Irupatham Noottandu again recently on cable, I was quite impressed with the effect it had on me even 22 years after its release and had me looking forward to Sagar Alias Jacky - Reloaded the much hyped sequel to it.

SAJ-reloaded, as the title goes, is quite a pity of a movie as the director has not undrestood even the one basic thing about protoganist. Sagar is a well known gold-smuggler, who is also known as Jacky in the shady circles. Therefore Sagar alias Jacky. Note: alias is not his middle name or initial, 'alias' is a word which means "other name or assumed name' :-P So the first choice of title 'Irupathonnam Noottandu' was definitely better than this mistake of a mouthful.

Bullet points to be noted:
- The movie is not a sequel. The only thing common with the first movie is that it has Jagathy in the same useless telugu speaking role, which could have been avoided even in the first movie and absolutely done without in this one. He's not even remotely funny in this one.
- The only stunt in this 'action' packed thriller is a scene in which Bhavana jumps down a storey from her home. Mohanlal doesn't have to even flex his flubby cheeks; even for a smile.
- The camerawork is pretty slick and stylish even for Indian movie standards and the whole movie is in shades of black, grey and sepia just like Big B.

- Only one decent song in it. Well picturised but Lal and Bhavana do make a pretty mismatched couple.

- Hero does an occassional diamond smuggling but main job is to give people promises like "I will save your Husband" or "I will save your Brother" and just walk over and untie those people.

- Lal never ever needs to wear a bullet proof jacket or anything he just walks straight into a shower of machine gun bullets and they all just bounce off his big tummy.

My tips to the main actors:

@Mohanlal: Walking so much in real life might just help you to shed those 8(family)packs (sorry my mistake! not 8 but just one giant bean bag size stomach) and black is definitely not a slimming colour for you!!!
@Sobhana: I dont know how u manage it so well in your dance recitals; but definitely you have lost the magic touch of acting. And I dont think more makeup will also help in covering up the hag look!! (sob! sob! this is coming from one true fan of yours!!)
@Bhavana: Keep it up girly.... you look good enough to eat!! hehe but pls pls pls stick to ppl in your age group not the grand-daddies! you surely have a long way to go :-)
@Manoj K Jayan : Dont you ever get bored of yourself? Well doing the same heros-best-friend-turned-sneak routine over and again will definitely take its toll on the audience. Better try and change course.
@Jyothimayee: Well you have almost succeeded in doing a Nayantara. But next time please make sure you get a good song to back it up with instead of just a string of sounds.

@Amal Neerad : You really are a master cameraman. But you have to understand that movie making and arranging walkathons are 2 things absolutely different! Pls do not try to mix them up!! Dont even think of re-hashing scenes from Big B for your next movie and maybe you can try out a different set of supporting cast also. Also next time please try not to make kochi based anglo-indians the villains!!

This one scene from Irupatham Noottandu is enough to show the character's slickness. Not exactly a Don type scene but still one of my fav : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSVeDVLjL6A