Office Rules

Got this one as a fwd and just barely managed to control myself from fwd-ing it to my boss ;-) Just seems to ring true for everybody!!! :-D

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers' hell.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.

Communist America?

A forward from Shyam made my day today :-D

Bet on the stand Obama is going to take ;-)

Some stripes and a triangle

When I mention to people in Kerala that I work at ACS, usually I dont get much of a reaction other than maybe a weird glance. "Just some obscure company with a handful of employees" is inner lying meaning of that glance. Only this "obscure" company is one with more than 6.4 billion $ in turnover and offices in more than a 100 countries!! ....like as if anyone wanted to hear those stats... right??

Maybe once in a while I get to meet someone who has heard of a few companies 'famous' in India, so then usual the weird glance will be replaced witha few questions like;
"TCS?"
"No, no ACS"
"Ookkaaayyy... Why didnt you try in Infosys or Wipro or TCS and all? didnt have marks?"
"no... i got here so then i didnt try anywhere else....."
"see what lazy kids will have to settle for if you dont study hard or dont try hard to get into the 'good' companies...blah blah blah blah" :-P

But my colleague recently finally met someone who had atleast seen a couple of ACS cabs zipping through Kochi. He was almost ecstatic at atleast that and then followed a question:
"Isn't ACS something of Asianet??" ....(rofl) he literelly gagged at the suggession!!!
Aww... come on now...I don't even want to think he had a valid point....