Today I was fat-shamed in my office. Today, on Women's day of all days in the year! And I realized something just out of the blue. Truly, women are their own worst enemy, we don't need men to put us down. No, they don't shame us and stamp all over us as well and as thoroughly as other women do.
I have never been a skinny person per say mid sized or "healthy" as gossipy aunties would say. But there was a time in college when I was literally just skin and bones. That was mostly due to bad hostel food and the pressures of being in the fag end of college life and the stress of facing the big bad world without a job in hand. That was not what I would call happy times. But once I got started in my career and got married I started piling on the pounds. Fast forward to two kids later, and I have a weight scale that is under considerable strain, very low self esteem and massive image issues.
Then a year back I got a job in a very fashion conscious office at a premier fashion retailer. Here I found a friend who has grown into a best friend and shes an awesome fashion scrounging partner and combined with that I had a free rein to revamp my entire wardrobe choices with my office being situated right in the retail heart of a major city. I was a new person altogether image-wise. Gone were the loose button down shirts and floppy loose boot-cut jeans. I took pride in my new choices and got many compliments. Finally I had regained a bit of my confidence and then today happened.
The lady just pointed at my thighs and told me "are you on a diet? (No) If you are then it definitely is not working out. You should start eating salads or go on a juice diet. But in your case I doubt that would help. That's what happens when you love to eat." I just pictured my self confidence take on a blue tinged liquid form and I imagined it swirling down a tub drain slowly.... slowly.... painfully.
Then I marched out of my office and bought myself a large chocolate brownie base vanilla ice cream and decided that the best moment in my life is licking my spoon, crunching on the cone and waiting for the very last bite of this cone. The tip where there would be a piece of solid chocolate. That last bite and the happiness it brings me is what gives me the strength to ignore all the cruel people who just cannot bear to put forth basic decency to other people. ..... but lets be truthful... I really truly actually wish lightning would strike her dead in the spot shes standing right now!!